Monday, August 23, 2021

Ext. 4


5 comments:

  1. Oh no! Poor detective turning into a bird monster?
    I like how you have used different kinds of sentences to make your writing more interesting.
    Remember how we have learnt that a good sentence will start with a capital letter and finish with a full-stop. Can you please go back and fix this in your writing?
    Next time think about what other details and description you can use to make you story even more impressive.

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    Replies
    1. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    2. Sorry about that,I have now fixed it

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  2. Hi Manaia! What a great story you created! I wonder what the detective's name could be? I also was keen to find out what happened in the forest, a bird detective could have all kinds of fun and problems I think... could you add in a bit more to finish it off? You have used lots of interesting language and created a fast moving and eventful story already! I would love to read a bit more of your exciting writing!

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Please structure your comments as follows:
Positive - Something done well.
Thoughtful - A sentence to let us know you actually read/watched or listened to what they had to say.
Helpful - Give some ideas for next time or ask a question you want to know more about.

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